How To Get out of Cooking Supper Tonight…

My wife has been out of commission all week. Her back has been completely locked up and today is the first day she’s really been on her feet since Monday. It all began last weekend.

I had the brilliant idea for a free getaway for the two of us. There is a pretty, little Walnut grove in a secluded section of our farm. We would go camping here, I thought.

And we did. It was really lovely. We had a little fire pit, we cooked over it with some of our nifty camping gear, she got to use her new camp chair and we squeezed into a tent to sleep. Sadly tent sleeping is a bit colder than home sleeping, plus a large pack of coyotes awoke us in the wee hours of the morning, howling and yipping way, way too close for comfort. I think that created a bit of tension.

The next day we were having so much fun we decided to stick around and spend some time clearing the camp site a bit more. While I ran the tractor, after a quick chainsaw operation tutorial, Ellen cut wood for a good hour. Sadly, I think that was the final straw.

That night she started complaining about her back being sore and tight. By Monday, the spasms had taken over.

It was then that I knew. Deep in my gut I could feel it. I would have to actually cook supper!

But I was in denial, or at least an advanced stage of procrastination. By last night, however, I couldn’t put it off any longer. We’d gone through the frozen pizzas, the gluten free corn dogs and the kids had eaten all the dry dog food. Before they opened the Alpo cans I peeled myself off the couch and threw this together…

Before I tell you what I did though, I think it bears saying – I can cook – some. I’ve got pancakes down, sausage, I can make guacamole just like they do in the Mexican Restaurant in town, I can grill burgers, pour cereal, and re-heat Red Beans and Rice. I have skills.

Alright, so here are the steps…

1)Go camping on a cold night.

2)Sleep on hard ground.

3)Lure in wild animals to within, say, 20 feet of your tent.

4)Learn to operate a chainsaw the next day and do so for 1 hour minimum.

5)Whether or not your back is bothering you at this point, start hobbling around the house, moaning and say, “I just can’t do it tonight. You’ve got to…cook…supper…”

6)Hand this to your husband.

Turn on the oven to 425.

Find a pyrex and stick of butter.

Cut up half the stick of butter and toss the pieces into the pyrex.

Find three potatoes, two turnips, and a hand full of Brussel sprouts.

Wash the potatoes in the sink and peel the turnips.

Chop potatoes and turnips into 1in cubes and cut the Brussels sprouts in half.

Spread all these vegetables evenly in the pyrex and stick it in the oven, once it’s preheated.

Set a timer for 45 minutes.

Go pour a glass of wine for your wife.

When there’s about 15 minutes left on the timer, turn on your gas grill.
If you eschew such easy living, roll back the clock and start your charcoal when there’s 25 minutes on the timer.

Count up the people you’re feeding.

For each person, cook one sausage. Cook two for yourself.

If they like spice, give them an Andouille. If not, let them eat Bratwurst.

These will cook quickly. The only rule of thumb is pull them off before they look done. They will continue to cook on the plate.

By the time the veggies are done, the sausages will be, too.

Cut the sausages into manageable pieces for the children.

Pour another glass of wine for your wife.


Whoops! I almost forgot – we have the most delicious Andouille, Bratwurst, Italian Sausage and Chorizo you’ve ever put in your mouth!

It might come in handy for the above recipe.

Did I mention these are guilt-free, from pigs that lived their whole lives on pasture and in the woods, eating non-GMO feed and listening only to NPR and This American Life? Also, they only drink Pellegrino…

Give us a call today and make life a little easier with some of our sausages. You’ll be glad you did!

We deliver to Nashville twice weekly, we’re in Lawrenceburg daily, and Florence weekly.